Blank Page Syndrome

                You’re staring at a page which glares back out you, it’s unmarked and dazzling white almost shining in the glow of your lamplight. It’s perfect, unmarred by any fault or flaw, and you can’t bring yourself to put pen to paper of finger to keyboard. Words march boldly from your mind and down your synapses but fall, defeated at the beachfront between your hand and the page before you. You rush out a few phrases, a creative charge of Cossack riders into the no-man’s land upon the page – you try to ignore the first misspelling but the second one stumbles you and it’s not long before the brief sally into narration is covered by a bombardment of scribbles and hatchings to hide its failure from the world.

                Now the page is ruined; a storm of ink is proof you tried and died, as have so many others. You’re just one of them, a hopeless hack – untalented and destined to pen something so formulaic it may as well be a text book. In a fit of rage and shame you tear the paper, once so pristine, and cast it towards the bin. Then you storm of to do something more productive or hide under a blanket and cry your insecurities away.

                This is a heavily dramatized example of what I call “Blank Page Syndrome”; the clinical inability to write anything down upon a blank page. Fear of poor quality, worries concerning longevity of story and suddenly having any idea of what you wanted to write about leave your brain via parachute are all causes of this. It affects fiction writers as well as non-fiction ones, and I think stems from an odd yet instinctive fear of making a permanent record of an idea of opinion. This is an odd fear to be instinctive, but I cannot think of any other reason that anyone who wants to write something worries about whether or not it will be good enough.

                Who cares? No one may ever read it! And if they did, who’s to say what their opinion will be? Even if your writing is terrible – and odds are it won’t be if you spend even a little thought on it – then what are they going to do? Laugh? Tell you never to write anything again? Admittedly these are fairly hard hitting and painful responses. However, if your ‘friends’ react like this rather than with some kind of measured and constructive criticism they probably aren’t your friends. You can usually turn round, however, and ask them what have they ever written or read to make them an expert. As a tip, ‘Harry Potter’, ‘Twilight’ and ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ are not answers that elevate a member of the public to the height of professional literary critic.

                I think for a large number of people the problem is they have not written before and so don’t know how to start. What is the correct etiquette? Is there one? How do stories start? To reassure any budding-but-panicked authors, there is no one hundred percent ‘right’ or ‘correct’ way to start a story, and as long as you begin then you’ll find it continues on. Yes, the quality may improve as you go and, yes, you may go back and hate how you started the piece but as mentioned before you can always change it. So start writing.

                Now, non-fiction writers might have a bone to pick here, especially as far as essays, dissertations and presentations go – “But my work is meant to be professional and will be scrutinized heavily!” Yes, you’re correct. However, putting some effort into writing something relevant has always been better than simply not writing anything at all. You do have to be in it to win it, and not writing anything basically guarantees failure. As mentioned, you can always redraft and edit you work so get something on the page so you have something to work with later.

                More experienced writers might argue they know how to start things and don’t want to have to compromise their writing quality by rushing into something. This is admirable but largely irrelevant; until you actually write something your talent and skill are both utterly wasted. Other experienced writers might point out they never have this problem, and never did. If that’s the case, great news for you! Why are you reading a blog entry titled ‘Blank Page Syndrome’?

                Once, a lifetime (seven years) of mistakes ago I was staying, alone, for a week with an ex-girlfriend who had cheated on me, subsequently ending our relationship. This was entirely because I could not afford to buy flights to hurry myself to where I needed to be for university and was an utterly unenjoyable experience. She was interested in playwriting, and I had always been to author. Inevitably, because writing doesn’t require you to talk to anyone else, we ended up writing and, because human’s are emotion and social animals to the point of self-destruction, we did it at the same table. I was dissatisfied but wrote as if I wanted to be absorbed into what I was writing while she could not begin. Stared at her page, occasionally glancing at me or at my writing filling my own page, and could not find a way to begin.

                Eventually she sighed and said, I fear in a misguided effort to compliment me or raise my  spirits, “I don’t know how you do it. I always struggle to start but you can just…write!” My response, given in a fairly anti-social tone which might have come out part-snarl and part-disdain (definitely related to the piece I was writing. I’m a very method-writer and the character just happened to be a very bitter one.), “I just write. I’m sure you’ve done it before.”

                While the sentiment may have been a little harsh perhaps, the message was honest – start. Write. Create. If you don’t, you’ll never get anywhere. And this is what happened to me when I wanted to restart this blog, hence this post. It might reiterate a few points from previous ones but hopefully puts it all together succinctly so I can link this page in future rather than repeating myself again. I hope it’s helpful – if not, write me back!

A Short Secondment to Starting Stories

               Below is, as the post title suggests, a short piece I wrote on my lunch break at work (because I'm so cool and have loads to do at lunch time). I've tried to capture the idea of isolation and bleakness while also putting some effort into a couple of tricks to make the narrative a little interesting despite the heavy feeling I want it to carry. Importantly, it is untitled and I just sat down and wrote it without worrying where it was going - I did this to show it can be done, and that writing doesn't have to be a crystalline, perfect creation from concept through to closing the concluding cover. I don't know where this is going, or what the character names are, or even where it is set, but I wrote it and I feel it is definitely strong enough for me to build on at a later date for another project, or to modify so I can add it into another project.

Untitled.

            It was close to the middle of the day. The sun scorched the scorched the street and the man who stood in it, sheltering in what sparse shade escaped the heat. It was too hot to work at this time and most were inside, cowering in the hot boxes their houses had become. This one man chose not to cower, instead braving the midday glare of the sun to be outside. His skin was dry and rough, cracked across his hands like the ground further out from the town; he rarely chose to hide inside when the world might offer something. Today had only offered heat and silence until the figure had appeared on the horizon. The man in the street had watched him from the shade for nearly an hour now. The figure revealed itself to be a man in yellow clothing on a horse. It was not the yellow of sun and sand staining but a bold and bright colour, nearly golden in its richness. The man watched as the rider approached, head unbowed by the height of the sun's heat. It appeared today did have something to offer, the man in the street thought, as he stepped out of the shade's safety to greet the man in yellow.


           Bam! Two hundred ish words of pure creativity! Not quite creative genius, and certainly not up to what I like to think of my normal standard; I noticed at least a dozen improvements which could be made as I typed it up. I left it as it was though, as a true and fair representation of what I could manage in twenty minutes without time to edit or review.
     
           I've tried to make the two characters have similarities and differences, such that I could in a section as short as this. They are both meant to exude a certain amount of pride and/or determination, perhaps defiance even, in their description but I wanted to make the man in the street disdainful compared to the aura of mystery I wanted to enshroud the rider in yellow. This grew from the decision to write in two characters, which I made very early on; I thought I'd have a little more time, and swiftly after creating the first I realized my plan for him would make him pretty unlikable if I didn't have another to counterpoint the views I wanted him to have. As it was, I did not actually get to the stage in the narrative where dialogue could happen and so you, as the reader, have yet to appreciate this.

              I point it out now because I've always found that if there is only viewpoint in any piece it creates an immediate potential barrier between the text and the reader - if the reader doesn't agree with the viewpoint, no matter how justified you might think it is or have written it to be, then they won't get on with the character or story. Hence I try to have at least two characters, if not three, so that they can each exhibit strong personality traits which differ from one another. By doing this I hope that at least one of them will appeal to the reader and so spread my net wide as far as catching and retaining interest is concerned. In fact, taking the net analogy a little further, if you make one out of rope tied in just one way you won't catch much and often smaller prey (readers newer to your genre of choice or with less time/interest for/in reading) will escape. If you bind the sides of your net with a second you will retain far more, and a third set of knots give extra security to it. More rope than that becomes clutter and clumsy, making your net difficult to use.

          Yes, that's the best I can manage write now. I appreciate this is a short post but I wanted to get something up; it's a busy week and as I have tried to keep clear thus far in my writing some words are far better than no words.

The First Word on the Page

                   Over New Year we all have little epiphanies and revelations about things we should do more, or less, or better, or worse. Mine came when I heard someone make the comment, “A writer who doesn’t write anything isn’t really a writer.” I am a writer who writes very little and my initial reaction was to go and defend myself, but a little voice in my head said very, very quietly that he had a point.

                This understandably troubled me; it challenged my assertions about who and what I am. Part of why I agreed with him was because I’ve been troubled by how little writing I am doing at the moment. I use the excuse that I’m pretty busy and don’t have a lot of time, but I’ve also recently been telling people that we make time for things we want to do, and how we spend our time defines what we want. By that precedent I am at best an occasional writer, which saddens me. Since I don’t like being in this emotional state I have decided upon the resolution to make more time for writing!

                Before we go any further, I have to highlight the fact I am not a published author. I am not a famous, successful hero of fiction or literature and neither have I made my fortune spinning tales (yet). This blog is about the struggle to achieve that goal, the journey to get there and the joy of what you discover on the way (and, sometimes, the pain found therein as well). So hold your snide remarks and instead aid that cause - post your opinions, experiences and questions below so everyone can benefit. That's right - COMMUNIST IDEALISM! I'm sure that's something we should strive for and, if science-fiction has taught me anything, be wary of giving to machines.

                So what am I doing writing a blog? Why spend time writing this rather spending it writing fiction? I have found that scheduling is actually really good for time management – shocking, right? – so I’ve started using a journal. This allows me to plan ahead a little and I’ve found that to be rather empowering. My aim with this blog is similar; by writing this regularly I will be thinking about writing regularly and, hopefully, writing more regularly too as a result.

                One of the things I’ll be doing is addressing elements and aspects of writing that can be or have been problematic for either myself of friends who write. The first of these is the most obvious, as it is where everyone starts; titles and beginnings. Some people say the hardest step is the first one – I personally don’t agree with this analogy, as I don’t think writing is always an uphill struggle, but even if I did I would argue it is only difficult to conquer this as a first obstacle because you make it one. 

                How can you avoid getting stuck in the mire of mentally-sapping mind-mud? Step one; don’t give it a title. By all means note down ideas but don’t get hung up on it. The issue with titles is that they are supposed to embody and encapsulate the entire book – or play, or manuscript, or whatever you are writing. How can you choose a title without having written most, if not all, of your work? How do you know what your book is about without going through the creative process? Any book evolves as it is written and if your book was written in a day it probably needs some work. So don’t limit yourself by calling your book something gripping or edgy like ‘Dead Clay’ and then stressing about how to make the sixteen chapters that seem to have no relevance to your title have relevance. Note ideas down but don’t fixate on them. Which is easier to change; several thousand words or your title which is made of maybe half a dozen?

                The next problem is another obvious one; starting your piece. The biggest shift in effort between any two points in an endeavour is between ready and running, having nothing on the page to beginning to fill it, going from thought to action. Like everything, writing is subject to inertia and entropy; it’s difficult to start because you haven’t started and it’s easy to stop because it takes less effort and time. There are also your subconscious fears to consider – what if I change my mind? What if what I write doesn’t make sense later? What if it is just poor quality? These questions seem reasonable but are fairly unimportant in reality; you are not carving the words in stone. You will be able to change, alter or scrap them entirely at a later date if you so please. If you’re not happy with what you write you can change it – you can unmake its imperfection and re-forge it into something golden.

                So just out pen to paper; let ink spill forth across the page as a mighty flood of creative invention. Not sure what to write about? It doesn’t matter. First person? Third? Narrative, descriptive, or biographical? It doesn’t matter. I find I rarely know exactly where a story is going but as a result of just adding words to it the story writes itself and grows. Of course I edit, of course I rewrite and yes, of course I scrap projects occasionally. You are a writer, not an architect or construction manager; the things you create are far easy to alter or even abandon. The chance of failure or abandoning your piece should not be a reason to abstain from or avoid writing. On the contrary; through finding the faults in a piece, and in yourself as a writer, by writing without a rigidly set plan you can improve thereby letting both your work and your writing ability grow.